Jose’s Most Memorable Comments
The Portuguese manager may have vowed not to be seen at a football ground until he returns to management but comments that the manager made during his time at Chelsea will forever be in the memory of football fans who heard them. Never one to hide his feelings and always known to speak his mind here are some of the finest words to fall from Jose’s mouth relating from voyeurism to bird flu:
Jose on Andy Johnson…“He’s dangerous for opponents because you cannot trust him, and I was not happy with that. I think he was a bit embarrassed and he behaved very well after that. In my country we call them ‘intelligent’ players. In other countries you use different words and are critical”
On the challenge of joining Chelsea… ”If I wanted to have an easy job, I would have stayed at Porto – beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions trophy, God, and after God, me.”
On using all his substitutes in an FA Cup game against Newcastle in which John Terry played the final ten minutes in goal… “If I made a mistake then I apologize. I am happy that I'm not going to jail because of that.”
On relations with his chairman… ”If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt!”
On a defensive display by Spurs at Stamford Bridge… ”It was like they parked the team bus in front of the goal!”
On his teams discipline compared to that of his rivals… ”We don't have the worst red-card record in the history of football; we haven't thrown pizzas in the dressing room.”
On Luis Garcia’s ‘goal’ in the 2005 Champions League semi-final… “The linesman scored the goal. No-one knows if that shot went over the line and you must be 100%. I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent.”
On Liverpool’s tactics… ”The best team lost. After they scored only one team played, the other one just defended for the whole game”
On Gerrard’s decision to stay at Liverpool instead of joining Chelsea… ”I can say to him in the next 10 years we will compare trophies at Chelsea and at Liverpool. And he will lose.”
On his sides defensive stability… ”We have eight matches and eight victories, with 16 goals, but people say we cannot play, that we are a group of clowns. This is not right.”
On Robbie Savage… ”Look at the blond boy in midfield, Robbie Savage, who commits 20 fouls during the game and never gets a booking. We came here to play football and it was not a football game, it was a fight and we fought and I think we fought fantastically.”
On Arsene Wenger… ”I think he [Arsene Wenger] is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”
On the sending off of Del-Horno against Barcelona… ”It was not a red card. The kid Messi is not just a very good footballer. He is more than that. He jumps and he provoked the contact with Del Horno, who is then sent off. I don't think I can talk about the game after that it was not a proper game, but I'm proud of my players.”
On having his six point lead at the top of the league narrowed to three… ”For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football”
On Claude Makalele being called up to the France squad after retiring… ”You are a slave, no liberty, no freedom, no democracy, no human rights.”
On his arrival at Chelsea… "Please don't call me arrogant, because what I'm saying is true - I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one.”
When asked if he was leaving Chelsea in March 2007… “There are only two ways for me to leave Chelsea. One way is in June 2010 when I finish my contract and if the club doesn't give me a new one. It is the end of my contract and I am out. The second way is for Chelsea to sack me. The way of the manager leaving the club by deciding to walk away, no chance! I will never do this to Chelsea supporters."
On defender Carvalho complaining about being left out of the team… "Ricardo Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test, or go to a mental hospital or something."
On Chelsea being denied a penalty… "The circumstances are difficult for us with the new football rules that we have to face. It is not possible to have a penalty against Manchester United and it is not possible to have penalties in favour of Chelsea. It is not a conspiracy, it is fact. I speak facts. If not, I need big glasses."
On Lionel Messi’s ‘dive’ against Chelsea… "Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theaters and this boy [Lionel Messi] has learned very well. He's learned play-acting."
On an injury to left backs Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge… "It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket."
On the potential of Scott Sinclair… "Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic. One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon. For example, Scott Sinclair, the way he played against Arsenal and Man United, we know the melon we have."
On Chelsea performances without Drogba and Lampard… "Omelette, eggs. No eggs, no omelettes. It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have eggs, class one, class two, class three,' he said. 'Some are more expensive than others, and some give you better omelettes. When the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
On a semi final defeat in the Carling Cup to Manchester United… "In the second half it was whistle and whistle, fault and fault, cheat and cheat. The referee controlled the game in one way during the first half but in the second they had dozens of free-kicks. I know the referee did not walk to the dressing rooms alone at half-time"
On defeat to Barcelona in the Nou Camp… "When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee's dressing room I couldn't believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn't get surprised. There is something that tells me that in London the referee will be Collina, the best in the world. A perfect referee with personality and quality"
On his sides meetings with Barcelona during his tenure as manager… "We have played against them four matches in two seasons. (When it was) 11 against 11 they never beat us. That is the reality"
On Cristiano Ronaldo…"A player who wants to be the best one of the world, and he already may be, should have the uprightness and the sufficient maturity to verify that against facts there are not arguments. If he says that it is a lie that Manchester United have conceded some penalties this season which have not been awarded against them, he is lying. And if he lies he will never reach the level that he wants to reach"
On the challenge of joining Chelsea… ”If I wanted to have an easy job, I would have stayed at Porto – beautiful blue chair, the Uefa Champions trophy, God, and after God, me.”
On using all his substitutes in an FA Cup game against Newcastle in which John Terry played the final ten minutes in goal… “If I made a mistake then I apologize. I am happy that I'm not going to jail because of that.”
On relations with his chairman… ”If Roman Abramovich helped me out in training we would be bottom of the league and if I had to work in his world of big business, we would be bankrupt!”
On a defensive display by Spurs at Stamford Bridge… ”It was like they parked the team bus in front of the goal!”
On his teams discipline compared to that of his rivals… ”We don't have the worst red-card record in the history of football; we haven't thrown pizzas in the dressing room.”
On Luis Garcia’s ‘goal’ in the 2005 Champions League semi-final… “The linesman scored the goal. No-one knows if that shot went over the line and you must be 100%. I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent.”
On Liverpool’s tactics… ”The best team lost. After they scored only one team played, the other one just defended for the whole game”
On Gerrard’s decision to stay at Liverpool instead of joining Chelsea… ”I can say to him in the next 10 years we will compare trophies at Chelsea and at Liverpool. And he will lose.”
On his sides defensive stability… ”We have eight matches and eight victories, with 16 goals, but people say we cannot play, that we are a group of clowns. This is not right.”
On Robbie Savage… ”Look at the blond boy in midfield, Robbie Savage, who commits 20 fouls during the game and never gets a booking. We came here to play football and it was not a football game, it was a fight and we fought and I think we fought fantastically.”
On Arsene Wenger… ”I think he [Arsene Wenger] is one of these people who is a voyeur. He likes to watch other people. There are some guys who, when they are at home, have a big telescope to see what happens in other families. He speaks, speaks, speaks about Chelsea.”
On the sending off of Del-Horno against Barcelona… ”It was not a red card. The kid Messi is not just a very good footballer. He is more than that. He jumps and he provoked the contact with Del Horno, who is then sent off. I don't think I can talk about the game after that it was not a proper game, but I'm proud of my players.”
On having his six point lead at the top of the league narrowed to three… ”For me, pressure is bird flu. I'm feeling a lot of pressure with the problem in Scotland. It's not fun and I'm more scared of it than football”
On Claude Makalele being called up to the France squad after retiring… ”You are a slave, no liberty, no freedom, no democracy, no human rights.”
On his arrival at Chelsea… "Please don't call me arrogant, because what I'm saying is true - I'm European champion and I think I'm a special one.”
When asked if he was leaving Chelsea in March 2007… “There are only two ways for me to leave Chelsea. One way is in June 2010 when I finish my contract and if the club doesn't give me a new one. It is the end of my contract and I am out. The second way is for Chelsea to sack me. The way of the manager leaving the club by deciding to walk away, no chance! I will never do this to Chelsea supporters."
On defender Carvalho complaining about being left out of the team… "Ricardo Carvalho seems to have problems understanding things, maybe he should have an IQ test, or go to a mental hospital or something."
On Chelsea being denied a penalty… "The circumstances are difficult for us with the new football rules that we have to face. It is not possible to have a penalty against Manchester United and it is not possible to have penalties in favour of Chelsea. It is not a conspiracy, it is fact. I speak facts. If not, I need big glasses."
On Lionel Messi’s ‘dive’ against Chelsea… "Barcelona is a cultural city with many great theaters and this boy [Lionel Messi] has learned very well. He's learned play-acting."
On an injury to left backs Ashley Cole and Wayne Bridge… "It is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket."
On the potential of Scott Sinclair… "Young players are a little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good. Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don't taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic. One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon. For example, Scott Sinclair, the way he played against Arsenal and Man United, we know the melon we have."
On Chelsea performances without Drogba and Lampard… "Omelette, eggs. No eggs, no omelettes. It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have eggs, class one, class two, class three,' he said. 'Some are more expensive than others, and some give you better omelettes. When the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem."
On a semi final defeat in the Carling Cup to Manchester United… "In the second half it was whistle and whistle, fault and fault, cheat and cheat. The referee controlled the game in one way during the first half but in the second they had dozens of free-kicks. I know the referee did not walk to the dressing rooms alone at half-time"
On defeat to Barcelona in the Nou Camp… "When I saw Rijkaard entering the referee's dressing room I couldn't believe it. When Drogba was sent off I didn't get surprised. There is something that tells me that in London the referee will be Collina, the best in the world. A perfect referee with personality and quality"
On his sides meetings with Barcelona during his tenure as manager… "We have played against them four matches in two seasons. (When it was) 11 against 11 they never beat us. That is the reality"
On Cristiano Ronaldo…"A player who wants to be the best one of the world, and he already may be, should have the uprightness and the sufficient maturity to verify that against facts there are not arguments. If he says that it is a lie that Manchester United have conceded some penalties this season which have not been awarded against them, he is lying. And if he lies he will never reach the level that he wants to reach"